Guest Blog Post…Cathi’s Lyme Diary

We will be featuring guest blog posts by various members of the Lyme disease community. Here is Cathi’s diary. Enjoy!

My Lyme Story
Screen Name: Plantlady
4/11/08

It all started I don’t know when…I’m 51 years old…I grew up in Phillips, Wisconsin, in the ‘north-woods’ …fishing, camping, hunting…God’s country. I moved away from home when I was 15, and have been self-supportive ever since…I’ve never been married…always had something going on…lived all over the country, had plenty of friends…loved to dance and work hard and play hard. It is now that I remember the bite that I got back in the 80’s…thought it was a spider bite…it circled my whole upper thigh…many shades of wonderful pinks, purples, and anything in-between. I never thought anything about it. In 1986 I moved back to Duluth, Minnesota from Colorado to be closer to my family and finally decided what I wanted to do with my life…fell in love with plants…found that God had gifted me with such a wonderful gift…sometimes I think I know plants better than people.

I have been fortunate to have been born in a very healthy family…both sides…no-one had cancer, arthritis, or anything else but a little blood pressure problem and a few heart problems later in life on my dad’s side of the family. I am the youngest of 6 and was always healthy, as was my whole family on both sides.

I went to the community college in Denver, Duluth, MN, and in-between I got 3 years in at different universities in horticulture and biology…I was always a free thinker, so I started my own landscaping business in 1988. The first woman up in this part of the country…I was SO exited and happy with my life!!! I FINALLY found my path. I graduated from the community college and started working for the extension service for extra money while I got my business off the ground. I built my own beautiful little house, but little did I know that the knowledge that I had acquired with plants would someday maybe safe my life.

I always worked hard and had at least 2 other jobs along with my business, and loved EVERY minute of it…I felt great…in 1992, I got rear ended and had some neck damage…that was the start of 15 years of change in my life…it would never be the same…..

For several months later, my neck hurt and went back to work part-time for the University and thought I was getting better. I was having money problems because of the accident and got an attorney…I was so deep in debt that the only way out for me, with my own business, was going back to school, killing two birds with one stone…gaining more knowledge and being able to pay my bills.

By the fall of 1993, my neck was still aching, but was bearable…In the meantime…my 80 year old father was getting ‘goofy’. Since I was working for the extension service, I told my mother that he had all the signs for Lyme disease. She said that they had tested him for it in 1990 and he didn’t have it, but in 1992 he got so bad they tested him for it and it was positive. He went through IV antibiotics and it seemed to help, but I was 200 miles away from home with a new business, etc. You would think that I would have known all the symptoms….his brain and heart had been affected drastically. He had a pacemaker put in, but he died in the fall. If I would only have had more time to be with him and see what he had to go through, maybe MY life would have been different…

Lyme disease creeps up on you so slowly, that you don’t even realize WHAT’S HAPPENING to you!!!

This is my story in chronological (day and nightmare) order…last fall I wouldn’t have been even able to write this, because my brain was invaded with those NASTY LITTLE CORKSCREW ASSHOLES!!! (Pardon the French) (It felt GOOD saying that!!!)

1993–I had a nasty sore throat and flu symptoms…the doc said that I didn’t have strep or the flu, but whatever he gave me, he said would help. I had never had sore throats like that…In the meantime, I was going to Duluth Clinic to the doctor for my neck symptoms…I thought that they had been getting better, but from that point on I was on a 15 year roller coaster ride of so many symptoms, I couldn’t even count them now. I went in DEEP. My shoulders and back hurt like nothing I had ever felt before…There was a constant HOT POKER going right through me…right in-between my shoulder blades and through my heart…I was going to the physical therapist 3x a week, a chiropractor 3x a week, and had no idea of where I was going with my finances, my life, or my family. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia…I was going into debt fast and very depressed…with the all of the pain medication and antidepressants they were giving me, my world turned up-side down…I started waking up at 3 a.m. in such pain I couldn’t stand it. The doctor gave me 2 series of lidocaine shots in my back, 30 at a time, trying to trick my brain out of my pain cycle…I was losing everything…all the doctor’s appointments, etc, were draining me. I was using my credit cards to pay my bills. I started school that fall…I was taking amatriptiline to help me sleep. (Didn’t help and blew my shore term memory) I was having a terrible time learning, but after a few months with only 3 hours a night sleep, who COULD think clearly?

1994–Went to school again…put my 19 ½ year old schnauzer, Scottie down…always something to blame the pain on. Got through chemistry, cell biology, and genetics…had to study ALL day and it seemed that nothing sunk in…even had to ask the genetics teacher to give me an oral test, otherwise it just didn’t seem to sink in when I read it. I had always been very smart, and in earlier years could pass any class without even studying…I blamed it on the anti-depressant for short term memory, but I still hurt sometimes so bad that I couldn’t stand it… had lots of headaches, etc, but had to keep working.

1995-2000–I tried to do the best that I could…had wonderful friends…seemed to get worse every year…I had to force myself to eat, totally lost my appetite…nothing seemed to help, and I took so many different pain pills and antidepressants until one day I said enough and just worked through the pain. I had been an avid reader all my life. I couldn’t read a paragraph and remember it. My neck would pop and creak. I still never got more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night, and one night I took one of the new antidepressants and that was the first night I even thought about suicide…talked into a tape recorder instead of the suicide hotline to calm myself down, and have never taken one since then…just had to work my business around my pain…THANK GOD that I could do that, or I would’ve lost everything that I worked so hard for. Had to have a nap every day, and every year it seemed that my working hours got shorter and my misery got worse. I grew up in a family where you don’t complain, so I kept it to myself…when my blinds were shut, it meant please DON”T BOTHER ME!!…after a few years I lost most of my friends because I wasn’t the happy, fun self that I USED TO BE!! I turned more inward every year and lost interest in just about anything but making enough money to pay the bills. For being the old Cathi, it scared me that I was so paranoid that I was scared to even go to the grocery store. I couldn’t remember people even a few hours after I met them, and blamed it on the fact that I was getting older! My knees ached a lot throughout this period and I blamed it on the fact that I had weeded for so many years….they didn’t hurt all the time but to was just another thing to blame my pain on. Went to court for my car accident (got screwed). After all, I thought that it was the demon that had made my life so miserable… drank quite a lot during these years which probably was a poor idea…I figured I would rather kill myself with alcohol than take any of those man made pills that were attacking every other part of me and ruining my digestive tract. I kept getting this rash (three or four times) on my thighs and it would get onto my stomach and back. I went to the doctor and she said it was just some kind of fungus or bacteria…take this…it will go away…..

2000–I was still going to physical therapy and a chiropractor at least twice a week. I let the business slow down…I had two part-time jobs where I didn’t have to work so physically. Started another business and bartended…this was the year it all started going even MORE haywire. My neck and back still hurt most of the time unbearably and had spread in to my lower back and arms. I remember the last time that I went to the physical therapist…for years my therapist could work on me for so long he would wear himself out…I have always been a strong person in great physical shape. Most of the men I know would admit that I could outwork THEM. Anyway, that day he couldn’t even TOUCH me! I screamed out and said enough! I went home and used up about a whole box of Kleenex. I wondered how the Lord would let me go through something like this…I had tried everything (medically) that I could think of…from out of the blue one of my angels told me that I hadn’t tried EVERYTHING. Acupuncture!!!!! That was my last hope. I called around …knew I couldn’t afford it…called one place…$80…called a couple of others…$60, $70…what to do??? One more try…Dr. Robb Anderson, Duluth Natural Medicine and Chiropractic. $25.00!!!!! Someone UPSTAIRS did not desert me! Little did I know that I had met the man that was the closest thing to an angel on earth! After 3 months, I was feeling a lot better…life was bearable again.

2001–Took care of my best friend Stan the whole year…he was dying of colon cancer. He was ALWAYS there for me. That spring my whole left side started aching…it got to where I couldn’t use my left arm. It burned all the way from my shoulders and shot down underneath my shoulder blade and all the way down my arm. I was referred to an orthopedic specialist. He came in the room…didn’t even have my FILE yet…didn’t examine me and told me it was either carpal tunnel or a torn rotator cuff!!! He then sent me to a neurologist…he put me on neurontin and morphine. I started out with two of the neurontin a day. I couldn’t function or think. He gave me a nasty nerve test, told me to start taking more neurontin bringing the dose up to 10 per day, but still didn’t know what my problem was, and sent me to a neurologist. The neurologist told me that whatever I had didn’t need surgery, so I was right back to where I started. What a nasty vicious circle the medical community throws us into. The right hand never knows what the left is doing. …and they don’t care either. I ended up in the emergency room a couple of times. Needless to say, the morphine would not work for even an hour and would stop me up so bad I was miserable. After my friends told me about myself, the use of neurontin was going come to a QUICK halt!!! (Thank GOD, because a couple of years later, Dateline did a special on it and exposed the whole charade) I had done some research on it and all it was is an herb that I can’t remember the name of, that you can buy at Walgreens for 3 or 4 cents apiece, and the drugstore gets over $4.00 apiece for neurontin. (MONEY)

Enter Dr. Robb again when everything else seems to fail. Between acupuncture, some Chinese device, and manipulation, within two or three months I was able to function again… it was unbelievable. Every week the pain would ease starting under my shoulder blade, the next week my shoulder, next my upper arms and 6 weeks later one night all the pain just went out of my fingertips and never came back. So much for Western Medicine.

My back and knees still hurt, I had bouts of depression, had to have my naps, and I just ached all over most of the time. If I pruned or landscaped, the most I could take was 3 or 4 hours, and then it would take me at least a day or two to recover…if I worked more I would cry myself to sleep. I was down to 4 or 5 friends….at least I found out WHO my friends were and their love kept me going. I didn’t even know why they WANTED to be my friends…I had totally lost my sense of humor, and was ALWAYS uncomfortable. If I had to sit in a hard chair for more than 15 minutes it would kill me.

2003–I had to let Stanley go in January. I lost my best friend. My depression grew and I still ached every day but it seemed like I was just used to it…the doctor told me she could not help me and that I would just have to resign myself to the fact that I would hurt for the rest of my life. I could put up with that…I just had to tell myself that there were a lot more people with worse problems than I had.

2004–Got a part-time job with Home Depot being a plant specialist…my feet and ankles hurt so bad that I would cry myself to sleep at night…also had a heel spur, so more doctors…cortisone shots…whatever. I got to where I couldn’t stand the heat, but when I would go give blood, sometimes they wouldn’t let me donate because my temperature was so low. (An average of 97.6) I never got cold, though.
I got the rash again…asked the doctor if she could take a scraping, but she said it wasn’t necessary…take this…..

That summer the heat seemed unbearable where I had always loved it before…sometimes I felt like the floor would be floating in front of me and I felt like I was living in a dream…I couldn’t read anything anymore…(chalk it up to age?)…one day I was in the parking lot and a gentleman backed right into me when I thought he was 6 feet away…no depth perception?…accident report…doctor checked me out and sent me to get a CT scan. He called and said that it was the nastiest sinus infection (with no swab, of course) that he had ever seen. I told him that I had never had a sinus infection, nor had anyone in my family…Take this…..

My vision got worse…dizzy all the time…ophthalmologist time…more tests. The Doc told me that I had lost 15 to 20 percent of my depth perception. I had several blind spots. The infection had cut off all of the blood vessels to my good eye. Since I was born with a lazy eye, my vision in that eye was 20/900 (No big E), it really scared the hell out of me. He told me I would never regain that vision. I have always supported myself and losing ANY vision made me wonder about a lot of things about getting old. I was getting more paranoid and anxiety ridden. I still couldn’t sleep at night without taking Flexeril. That was the only drug that had ever helped me relax enough to work or sleep. I wouldn’t take it, though, unless I absolutely had to.

I went to Dr. Robb…he gave me iplex…organic and homeopathic (my first experience), my saving grace…I had always taken

2005–I just got into a cycle of just going somewhere only if I had to. I had to force myself to do everything…work, eat, etc…as long as I could pay the bills I would try to be happy with what I had, which I guess is a lot more than a lot of others have in this world. I had a really hard time relating to people and just tried to stay busy…my mind started racing all of the time…I would think of a million things I had to do, but would never accomplish anything. I had to concentrate so hard on ONE THING AT A TIME, I would be oblivious to everything else around me. I had no general enthusiasm for anything…It seemed like there was no middle ground…I would only call people on the days that I felt good, but they were far and few between…my physical aches and pain weren’t bothering me as much as my mental state of mind. I have always had a good head of hair, but I noticed that it wasn’t as thick as it used to be.

2006–I got a job as a manager for a new landscape company that had just opened. A new exiting job…something to LOOK FORWARD TO??? No matter what I go through, I DO try to think positive and do the best I can at anything I do. I thought it was going OK, but everyone would look at me so WEIRD. The summer was one of the hottest summers we’ve ever had, and I was miserable. I couldn’t think straight. I was living in a “fog”.

I made a mistake on the cash register (which was screwed up anyway) and after that my boss watched me like a hawk…extra paranoia was definitely not needed. I think they started making fun of me and not trusting me. I had grown up in a business and started ringing the cash register when I was 7, and in all the jobs that I had in my life, my registers were never even a penny off! Anyway, I just had the general feeling that when people met me, they either thought I was drunk or on drugs (illegal, of course) Anyway, that job didn’t work out. My joints started to ache and my back would go out sometimes. I started to sleep with a pillow on each side of me to keep me in exactly the right position so I could sleep.

2007–Got a job with one of the biggest construction companies in Duluth. I was managing the pain. My mind would race all the time with a thousand different things running through it. I was very moody, depressed, and had obsessive-compulsive and bi-polar tendencies. I was still losing my hair…lost my cousin Sharon in February. In March, I bought a truck from California…another new year. That’s one good thing about winter…every year you can start out fresh, just like a new day. There’s got to be something to look forward to. There’s still so much beauty to see in everything that God created. Lyme had given me blinders. Like I said, I had to concentrate so hard on the task at hand that I had tunnel vision. When most people drive, they look around and notice things, but all I could see was that tunnel. I could not get motivated. I had to ‘kick’ myself to get up in the morning.

In May, we had to put my mother in the nursing home, and in the following weeks we would lose two of the best sister-in -laws that anyone could ever hope to have. Ruby, my brother Tom’s wife was killed in a horrendous car accident…I spent 3 days in the hospital with my brother waiting for her to be declared dead by the state…he wanted someone to get her heart…that’s another story. We buried her on the 2nd week of May. My brothers John’s wife died the following Monday of uterine cancer…More things to blame my depression on… The family was in turmoil. Such grief and sadness. I helped my brothers as much as I could, but had to get back to my new job. Things were going well and I was getting paid for my knowledge. I could work whichever days I wanted, so really worked out great. My joints kept getting worse. My shoulders and neck ached, my back and my hips started to go out. My elbows started to ache, too. I would go to Dr. Robb and he would do the best that he could for me. That was good enough for me. If it wouldn’t have been for him, I would have been disabled a long time ago. He definitely made life bearable for me. I would go a couple of months sometimes without that much pain. We both thought he was doing the best that either of us could expect.

In June I stepped on a bee and was out for 4 days. No baggy. In August, I stepped into a yellow jacket nest and almost died. My first ambulance ride…how exciting!!! They gave me prednisone and sent me home.

In the fall, things started to go even more haywire…my knees would ache so bad that I couldn’t get back up again without someone’s help…(Prednisone?) I started getting dyslectic, and now I realize that it happened so slowly, my brain just wasn’t’ working right. I would spell words the wrong way, and use the wrong words in sentences. I had terrible word retrieval. No wonder why everyone looked at me weird, even my family. All of my joints started to ache except my wrists and ankles, and the ligaments in my left arm and calf started aching. I could hardly carry my computer bag, much less than pick up retaining wall blocks.

I went to see Dr. Robb when it got really bad. I was in the waiting room talking to Colleen, his wife, and asked her about my joints. She said that it sounded like Lyme. Stupid me!!! Wouldn’t you thing that I would know better???

I went home for the first Thanksgiving we had without mom living there and Ruby and Debbi being gone. I took over the role, but my knees kept going out…I got down on my knees to pick something up and I COULD NOT get up. My sisters thought it was hilarious…I’m the baby of 6 and no-one in my family has ever had to go through pain like that. We’re a HEALTHY family. I told her it wasn’t funny and told her that I had made an appointment for a Lyme test. No BELLY-ACHING in our family!!! You must be making it up or you’re just not tough enough!

When I to my appointment, I just about had to BEG for a Lyme test, me only working outside for a living and all? She said that the reason I ached so much is because I worked too hard and I was ‘getting’ older.
I told her ALL of my joints ached and that there was no arthritis in my family. She finally caved…..

The test came back positive. She prescribed two weeks of doxycycline. I took it for two weeks and the last day was December 26. My joints had stopped aching (no herx?), but three days later the pain came right back. On the 3rd of January, I called to see if they had made an appointment with the infectious disease doctor, but all the paperwork got ‘mislaid’. You know ‘With the holidays and all’. Anyway, it was the 16th of the month before I got to see him.

In the meantime, I couldn’t make up my mind if I was relieved or scared out of my wits! FINALLY some explanations. Thank GOD that I had taken all those extra courses in the 90’s. I was on a hunt for information, I knew, because my life depended on it. I devoured everything I found on the web. I must have gone through two or three hundred sites for Lyme. People were telling me, “You don’t have anything to look forward to“, but I just couldn’t accept that. I read all the nightmare stories…they seemed to go on and on…finally when I was just thinking those people were right, I hit on a site where some people had found this machine that had helped them when they were willing to give up…More horror stories…Rife machine??? Once those 2 magic words appeared, it changed everything.

In the meantime, I went to Dr. Robb to see what he had to say…I had insurance, but it would not pay for alternative treatments…thank God that I had insurance or I would have lost everything. I had heard him and Coleen talking about nutritional response testing. They had a ‘deal’ on it, so I said that I would give it a try. I had two long weeks to think about it…hmmm, no money…I asked her if it would be ok if I paid them in the spring after I started working again…I’m a very proud, responsible person, and for the first time in a long time she said “The only thing we want to do is to make you feel better”. “Don’t worry about the money”…when do you EVER hear a doctor say anything like that??? She gave me a test to see what my general wellness was (the worst person she had ever tested), and Dr. Robb did the NR (nutritional response) testing, not only was I positive for Lyme, But many other little creatures besides…he said that it was definitely in my lymph system, my liver, and I knew it was in my brain. He recommended homeopathic treatment and a specialized protocol designed just for me…more decisions…..

I went to the ID doctor on the 16th, and all he had to say was that he wanted to give me a double dose of Doxy for two months. He said that I would ‘hurt’ for a few days, but that meant that it was working. I told him that it didn’t happen when I took the dose before…no comment. He took a lot of blood for the co-infections, etc. After all the research I had done, and being that I had already taken that two weeks worth in December, it just didn’t feel right. For three more days I weighed my choices… I must have looked at that great big bottle of antibiotics a thousand times. I HATE taking pills, and I don’t much care for doctors, although there are many wonderful ones out there. I figured that I had already had Lyme for that many years, another month or so wouldn’t make that much difference. I had made my choice. I didn’t know a lot about homeopathy, but plants were my life. I totally trusted Dr. Robb, and put my health in his hands, and with a little help (or maybe a lot) from the Guy upstairs, I WOULD get well!! There have been so many uncanny circumstances in my story that I KNOW that He is always with me, and has always led me in the direction for which I was meant to go. I have always taken care of the earth, and the earth has always taken care of me. I have always grown all of my own vegetables. I really trust that everything that God created has a purpose and that’s why he put millions of plants on the earth in order for us to learn. People have been using homeopathy and herbs for thousands of years, before anyone ever got their MD license…I want to know why the 2 of them can never get together for the good of the person they are dealing with…never mind…I already know…could it be MONEY???

OK, I’m done with all that now. It was a new year, so this is how my year started out and how my healing began……

1/3/08–(This all took 2 days) Called doctor’s office…hold…Called ID doctor…hold…told me they couldn’t find my paperwork…called doctor back…told me they sent it…called ID doctor back…hold…called again three times…hold until I left a message with the operator…they called back and said it might have been faxed to the wrong number…said they would check…nothing…called back the next day…hold…said that they had found it and it WAS marked as received on December 22.…they made me an appointment…I didn’t want to start on the homeopathic treatment until I knew what the ID doctor had to say. I asked the ID doctor about the drips…he said that since I was allergic to penicillin, I would probably have to stay in the hospital in case there was an allergic reaction…(little did he know that not all of the drips are related to penicillin) What an idiot. (sorry) I made an appointment for a follow-up and for test results.

1/13–Spent all my time on the net…I was trying to get all the information that I could to make a good decision…looked up everything know to man that would kill these little devils.

1/14–I went to Dr Robb for and assessment of my physical fitness level…Colleen told me that she had NEVER seen anyone be at the bottom corner of the graph…the worst you can be…Dr Robb gave me the nutritional response testing and I started taking the supplements I needed… (Pills for my liver, lymph and for the bad viruses, bacteria, parasites and fungus that were also positive on the test). I was also taking fresh garlic (since I grow a lot of it and you can eat a lot if you bake it). I didn’t want to start on the homeopathic treatment until I knew what the ID doctor had to say, and to have the blood tests done.

1/15–Another net day…at least I can read and start to comprehend things better…

1/16–Went to Dr Robb again to ask questions about my doctor’s appointment…Went to ID doctor’s appointment…Take antibiotics???…Do I really want to kill MOST of the bacteria in my body, including the good stuff, too??? After all, I have wonderful bacteria that ARE there to protect me too. I wonder if I want to screw up my body more than it already is??? I know too many people with terrible yeast infections and digestive problems because of the antibiotics and pain pills. I came home and was on the net until after midnight…

1/17–Tossed and turned all night trying to make my decision…learned more about homeopathy…like heals like…decided to put my trust in Dr. Robb…started on a 30 day homeopathic remedy for Lyme (Borrelia Series Therapy from Deseret Biologicals). It also had the remedies for Babesia Microti, and Ehrlichia. Dr. Robb told me that between the 2nd and 4th dose of it I would probably feel terrible, and that meant that it was working. I did more research, but hadn’t started putting anything together yet, but I had started my journey…I still couldn’t understand how it worked but I trusted my Doc. He explained to me that when you take homeopathic therapies, they kind of work the opposite of how man made or synthetic drugs work. I found out that when you take certain antibiotics for Lyme, the bacteria turn into a form that the antibiotics cannot kill. Homeopathy tricks them into coming out so that your own immune system or natural antibiotics can kill them. This kind of scared me, putting the same bacteria (and different ones) into my body, but at that time I didn’t know that they were DEAD…things came together more when he told me that everything has it’s own unique vibration, and that is how the bacteria lure their own kind out so that you can get rid of them. You start out with a bunch of it and gradually take smaller and smaller amounts until you immune system can take care of them itself, hopefully. You know your immune system is working when you really hurt…they are called herx reactions. This will all unfold as it should, thankfully, because I am the PERFECT example of how it does. All I know is that the more I hurt, the more of those little corkscrew assholes are dying!!! I LOVE calling them that…it makes me feel happy inside! By the time you take the last dose, most of them should be getting out of your system…hopefully. I figure why not try…even if it works half way, if I decide to take the antibiotics, my body should at least be a little better off. Dr Robb gave me colloidal silver (250 ppm), pills to kill some of the other pathogens in my system and some for my lymph system and liver. When I took the first 2 weeks of antibiotics the first time, I DIDN’T hurt, so it made sense that my immune system WASN’T working the way it should…maybe that’s why I never get colds…my body has been trying so hard to kill this invader that it just can’t take on anything else…WHY don’t I ever get fevers??? I took my 1st dose…

In the meantime I was in a whirlwind of information…looked up so much info that my mind would still not absorb it, but I was making progress. I ordered all kind of books from the library. (Money) I looked up everything known to man that has been tried to kill these little you-know-whats. I should call them LCA’s (little corkscrew assholes, pardon the French)…I think I will!!! You see, now that I am typing this up, my sense of humor has started to come back!!!

1/18–It seems too good to be true, but I feel a little less foggy and can think a little bit clearer. (Imagination?) I have been taking my pills (natural) for 2 weeks, though, and that might have something to do with it.

1/19–Less foggy…right elbow aches a little more…top of head feels weird…I’m praying in the next few days I ache even MORE…that means that it is working!!! Will decide from there…

1/21–took 2nd dose…not feeling much different, have been starting to drink LOTS of juice and at least a couple times a week I make a fresh fruit smoothie…I have always eaten lots of vegetables, but not as much fruit

1/24–took 3rd dose…no change, but still seem to be feeling a little better…more clear and aware.

1/25-26–Went to Dr Robb today…my lymph system is doing better and the parasites and viruses didn’t show up…came home and did more research…finally looked into this Rife machine thing…when I googled it I FINALLY got to LYMEBOOK.COM…what a dream come true!!! Someone was leading me in the right direction…once I started reading and watching the video blog, and all of the other videos, it led me to learn about Dr. Rife and the story of his life. The puzzle pieces were finally starting to make a whole picture!! Mind you, I have never been computer literate, so this was a whole new world for me. I had also studied light, etc about waves and frequencies, so it made sense to me… everything that we see, feel and touch is from them, so???

1/27–Woke up very early and took the 4th dose…went back to sleep and woke up again about 10 and it felt like the top of my head was going to fly off…it didn’t hurt, but now I finally realized what a herx reaction was…it HAD to be working and there must have been THOUSANDS of the LCA’s dying in my head!!!

1/28–I feel half-way decent and ache a little in the morning…p.m. a NASTY headache and a lot of neck pain. My toes on my left foot start to itch…what’s that all about?

1/29–5th dose…my back and neck are very stiff…I had made an appointment with my eye doctor just to make sure that my eyes haven’t gotten worse…he tests everything and if you can believe this, he told me that I had regained almost all of my vision!!! He asked me what I took, but of course he didn’t want to know about anything homeopathic. The year before he had told me that I would never get that vision back.
In the evening I just had a feeling of general weakness all over. (more herxing I learned later.) I got home in the afternoon and for the first time in years, I’m actually HUNGRY!!! My elbows and the ligament in my left arm start to ache later…8:30 pm…my toes on left foot start to itch like crazy again.

1/30– I took 5th dose…woke up with a runny nose and a bunch of sneezes…maybe a cold??? That could be a good sign. It seems as though my whole upper body stopped aching!! When I talked to Colleen she told me that’s how homeopathy works…from the top down through the bottom of your body…COOL.

1/31-I drove home to Wisconsin for the super bowl…felt generally good for the first time in a long time…knees aching a bit with the same ligament in the left leg hurting along with it, but I had the best fish sandwich that I think I have ever tasted in my entire life!!! Toes itching again…they never itch during the day, but 8:30 seems to be the magic number…it drives me CRAZY…I have tried everything…Benadryl, Hydrocortisone, fungus cream…nothing stops it!!! Now the toes on my other foot are starting to do the same thing???!!! My friends were making fun of me saying that I must have athletes’ foot!!! When I went to sleep, I slept the WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH!! In 15 years, I might have slept more than 6 hours maybe 20 or 30 times. What a wonderful feeling! Every day it seems as if I am thinking clearer and actually starting to feel like a real person, and when I read things, I can actually comprehend them. Even a couple of my friends could sense the change in my speech and demeanor.

2/1–Toes itched again going to sleep…BOTH feet are doing the same thing…I can’t understand how they just start up at 8 or 9 at night, but stop all day???

2/2– Took the 6th dose…the day was uneventful except my toes all stopped itching!! I don’t understand it, but they did. Found out my friend Fitz in Hawaii was first on the transplant list for a liver!!

2/3–I can’t believe that I haven’t ached at all for several days…I feel so relaxed that it’s hard to comprehend. It’s the 4th night in a row that I have slept through the ENTIRE night…can this be possible??? Found out my friend Fitz got his new liver!!!

2/4–I drove home…had to go to three counties to do my computer job…I had driven about 80 miles and went to exercise my neck…something was different but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It took me awhile, but after a few minutes, I realized that it didn’t make any noises…when I moved it around it was TOTALLY quiet…I guess through all these years, every time I would turn my neck in any direction, it always felt like there were a million little bubbles popping in it, besides cracking…I tried it a few more times and it was like a miracle…my neck had made those noises that only I could only hear for so many years that I thought that it was normal. I twisted it around a few more times…SILENCE…..

2/5– Took 7th dose. ..Stayed home and got all my wash done and I actually cleaned the house. (It actually felt good to do it) Never before had I realized that everything had to be a chore or ‘something I HAD to get done’. I always knew I had to eat, and had to work, and had to keep the house clean, but it’s been years since I didn’t really mind DOING it. I noticed that my hair was starting to get thicker.

2/6–Did my computer job…think I have a cold again?? A little achy and depressed.

2/7–Went to work…left elbow hurts again…is it going to start all over again?? Just achy…very depressed…just don’t feel good. Fitz called…he’s hanging in there!!!

2/8– Took 8th dose–Left elbow aching again…I realize that I haven’t needed my ‘arm’ pillow for a few nights—did more research on Rife machines.

2/9-2/10–Am doing well all around and don’t have hardly any pain…have been doing more research on the Rife Machine…makes sense to me…read that you shouldn’t stay on the same treatment for too long of a period…that Rife machine makes perfect sense…I have been learning more about plants, herbs and different methods of killing the little LCA’s. Took 9th dose in evening.

2/11–Right knee and leg ache in am…feeling pretty good, actually…Lunch with Bonnie…haven’t seen her for a couple years…zapped once for lyme and once for parasites, etc. Legs tingling and right behind ear really ache badly…sore to the touch.

2/12–Neck and shoulders hurt in morning…had a talk with Colleen about Rife machines and she said that they had a super zapper that had a special chip in it for lyme…why not try it and see what happens???

2/13–Went to see Dr. Robb. He said that my lymph system was doing a lot better, and I already knew that a lot of it had gotten out of my brain. Colleen said that she really noticed that I didn’t have that confused look that I used to have. I’ve had 3 or four people that asked me what was so different about me and a couple of them said that my complexion had changed. My skin DID feel different. I rented the Super Zapper to see what it had to offer me and asked all kinds of questions…went home and got on Hulda Clark’s site, and e-mailed her about using it. I went to library to pick up more books on Rife and CD’s…the US didn’t even have the story about Dr Rife…had to order it from Canada. Got another book on rife frequencies…most of the books that I have ordered, there are only 2 or three in the whole country…hard to believe???

In the afternoon, I went to see the ID doctor…I had been dreading the situation, but I told his nurse all the new ‘pills’ (natural drugs) I had been taking, and of course not a one of them happened to be in their database…it kind of made me feel good to make her spell out all of the names of them and add them into the computer…that took up VALUABLE time…I had filled out the form for my symptoms and realized how many of them were a lot better, so when he sat down to talk to me he seemed like he was disappointed with me…he had wanted me to get on the antibiotics, but it was MY decision not to take them…I realized that spring was coming and you are not supposed to take them when you work out in the sun, but by that time I already knew that I had already made the right decision (for me) not to take them…the antibiotics will ALWAYS be there and maybe next year there will be even a better one. I had lived in pain for so long, it wouldn’t matter anyway, so when he said NOT TO BOTHER making another appointment until I decided that I would take the pills, I almost felt like I was in control for the first time in a long time. It felt great!
Why would he even dare to ask me what I thought had made ME feel better?

2/14–Took Last and 10th vial…Still mixed up…zapped 3x for Lyme and once for parasites, etc…It’s hard to know if it will hurt you or not…I had gotten the e-mail back…she said to do it once for Lyme and once for other parasites, etc once a day for 30 days. I had a special chip in it for the Lyme frequencies.

2/15–Felt like a Mac truck hit me…in bed all day…bad day… (I later found out that this was a bad herx reaction…to me, I just felt LOUSY) I learned that my uncle died.

2/17–Felt really good…my left elbow and knees ached in am, but went away…I actually walked to the post office…talked to Fitz and he is doing well…he told me that he had gone for a ‘walk’ with a new heart…he was going to make it… in pm I watched the movie ‘A Stranger’s Heart’…it must be my transplant week…My brother donated Ruby’s organs last year…the University sent me a grief package…have to call tomorrow…I was driving to town today and about half-way into town I realized that I hadn’t put my sunglasses on…for the last couple of years, I had the most terrible light sensitivity…haven’t driven at night for a long time…thought it was because I was getting older, but it was GONE!!!

2/18–University called…she told me that the lady that got Ruby’s heart didn’t make it and asked me if she should call Tom…I told her I would do it…how many heartaches can each of us endure??? It was one of the hardest things I have had to do–told my brother tonight…he had wanted to know, but who ever knows what the right thing to say is…just like this lyme…all you can do is try and do the right thing and be comfortable with your choices, no matter what they are.

2/19-2/23–Feeling really well except for left elbow still aching, mostly in the morning.

2/24-2/25–Feeling pretty well, toe next to big toe on left foot is itching terribly again—when I use the Super Zapper I get a rash on my right hand, and also a rash on the inside of both knees.

2/26–Zapped in pm…evening… I have a rash on the right side of my neck and behind my ear and is very sensitive to the touch. (There are lymph nodes behind your ears)…same toe itching again…too weird…
2/27–Felt really good…went to see Dr Robb…My lymph system did not show up…HURRAY!!! Colleen tells me that toe makes perfect sense…she gave me a diagram and where it itches on that toe relates to my joints…must mean that my joints are still trying to get rid of the bacteria maybe?? She also said that it made sense about my lymph system. My stupid toe itches again like crazy. We decided to do another 30 day treatment of Borrelia from Deseret…It’s been a couple of weeks since I got done with the last one. This time I have to do it backwards starting with the weakest first going to the strongest…makes sense to me…we have to draw out the weak ones before we coax out the strongest ones and hopefully the attack will go as planned…My liver is doing better, but still needs help…zapped in pm.

2/28–I still can’t believe that I HAVE MY APPETITE BACK!! I am actually making a three course meal 3 hours before I’m supposed to eat it!! I am actually ravenous, and that word hasn’t been in my vocabulary for a LONG TIME. Thank you, GOD!!! (And Dr Robb and Bryan Rosner) Started 10th dose. Zapped in pm….I am so glad that my hair is growing back… used to think that it was just because I was coloring it.

2/29–I didn’t take my flexeril…I figured that it has been at least a couple of weeks since I have been sleeping through the night I would try going without it…didn’t work…woke up twice with my scalp itching like crazy…diarrhea at 6am…now my eyes even itch…there’s a few of those little bubbles in my neck…haven’t had that for a couple of weeks…herxing in legs…I feel feverish and flushed…I am really thinking now that this homeopathic stuff is making perfect sense. Maybe my immune system is starting to really kick in…how exciting!! Went back to sleep for a couple hours and when I wake up it feels like the top of my head is ‘lifting off’ again. What amazed me is how I can feel so flushed and warm, and my temp is so low. (Blame it on peri-menopause???) Zapped at 9 pm. Herxing in hands and legs, mostly in calves and feet…SAME toe itching after 10 pm.

3/1–In am neck and elbows are starting to hurt…mild headache…flushed. Zapped for both in pm.

3/2–Took 9th dose in am…12 noon… I can tell with this (the way I am writing) that I’m not thinking straight…herxing all over and just generally zonked out…very weak and a general weakness everywhere. My arms are itching pretty bad…I am going to eat and go back to bed. At 6 pm feel like a Mac truck hit me again…am very weak and flushed. Zapped in pm for both.

3/3–Feeling half way decent…zapped at 6 pm and itched like crazy all night.

¾–Felt ok…nothing big to report…database still not done.

3/5–Took dose 8th dose at 4 pm…by 5 I can tell that the top of my head is feeling very weird…lightheaded…it feels like a headache but doesn’t hurt??

3/6–uneventful

3/7–Very busy…uneventful…zapped in pm…some herx in legs…9:30…arms and upper torso itching like crazy again…feel flushed

3/8–Took 7th dose…some herx in arms and legs…depressed

3/9–…Cleaned (again???) Les came over for dinner…didn’t zap

3/10–In bed all day…didn’t zap again

3/11–Went to town…worked…very depressed…still no database…called my friend to see if he knew of a good mental health person for me to talk to…made appointment…Took 6th dose.

3/12–Slept till 10…shoulders and neck very sore…zapped in am…it seems like it is helping. (or not???)

3/13–Zapped in am…

3/14–Took 5th dose…don’t feel too bad.

3/15–Knees and elbows ache.

3/16–I have just enough energy to move around.

3/17–Took 4th dose…nasty day…depressed…it’s funny how there’s a difference in how some people can wake up in the morning and just thinking they are going to have a bad day makes it one, but people that have underlying problems with different diseases like lyme wake up and KNOW that the whole day is going to be SHOT…no matter what you try and do to uplift yourself, it just DOESN”T work!!!

3/18–I felt half way decent.

3/19–Uneventful

3/20–A little down today…went to mental health appointment…took 3rd dose.

3/21–Forgot to zap

3/22–Felt good…cleaned house all day…didn’t zap

3/23–Cooked a big Easter dinner…was really exhausted in evening…maybe I took on too much. Zapped in pm. Took 2nd dose.

3/24–Another Mac truck day…feel terrible…achy and depressed…can’t remember that I felt this bad mentally and physically both for quite a while…felt like taking a pain pill but didn’t…hope tomorrow will be better…

3/25–Went to Dr Robb…said that my liver still wasn’t doing a lot better and gave me extra pills for it… took the 1st (10th and last) dose today.

3/26–Started LYM (homeopathic by Deseret Biologicals) I will now take 7 drops twice a day… Felt pretty decent.

3/27–Felt pretty good all day…had to out of town…still can’t believe that I don’t need my sunglasses anymore and notice so many new things…signs…things out in distance…it’s like I’m in a different state of mind, and it feels really good…

3/28–Felt ok again…found 1 small rash about 1/3” in diameter on lower stomach…they don’t seem to spread or get bigger anymore… for the last year or so I would get them on my face, but they were really small (maybe 1/16”)…haven’t had any on my face for a month or two…they were so small that you could only see what they really were with a magnifying glass.

3/29–Noticed the last couple of days that when I take LYM, my left eyelid flutters for a couple of hours…looked it up on internet and it said that when that happens, you can take homeopathic Rhus tox (poison ivy) for it…looked on the bottle and it said it was in the LYM…hmmm…after taking it I had mild herx in arms, legs, right elbow and knee…aching in am…3 pm…left knee aches…10pm…same toe itching AGAIN???

3/30–Generally achy in am…took LYM…small herx below elbows and knees…my butt itches terrible…it has been doing that for the last 3 or 4 years…especially after I take a really hot bath…I have a feeling that when that stops that I will have this under control…I asked that doctor about it every time I went to see her, but she always told me it must be something else…I changed EVERYTHING about everything in my bathroom…I went NUTS with toilet paper, soap, shampoos, everything you could possible imagine, but now I know that it must be the LCA’s…I feel that I have been very fortunate that the lyme did not attack my digestive tract as bad as some of the stories that I have read…I also never had severe headaches, but the two most important symptoms that I have found for it are the anal itching and the neck bubbles popping (that’s the only way I can describe it) the former being very embarrassing but might be very important because I have asked a few others that have lyme and their’s did too…

4/1–Doing pretty well, except left eyelid keeps fluttering…Found another small rash on upper stomach…other one went away…when I used to get them I would have them for a couple of months…that’s a good sign…

4/2–Bad day…feels like head, arms from elbow down and legs from knees down are numb and feel like they’re asleep on the inside (herx?) It’s a very weird feeling…The last 2 days my stomach has been gurgling like crazy…hardly ever does that…very stiff shoulders.

4/4–Felt pretty good the last 2 days except for that stupid eyelid fluttering…took a HOT bath…Butt itches again, but it doesn’t last very long…it used to make me go batty and last most of the day, but I know now that it’s one of my symptoms of lyme.

4/5–Felt half way decent…went out to dinner…I have actually started LAUGHING again!!! (voluntarily)
It’s been a long time and it REALLY FEELS GOOD!!!…every day I check for Bryan’s video blog…I don’t know what I would have done if I wouldn’t have learned what I did from it…unbelievable amounts of information…so much work…I don’t know how he does it…

4/6–BAD day…took nap in afternoon, which I have almost completely stopped doing in the last month or so…toward evening the back of my neck, head and in between shoulders to my both sides of my head around up to the front of my forehead were hurting unbearable…took an extra flexeril and put my hot rice pack on it for 2 or 3 hours but it didn’t help. Finally took a percodan at 10…that’s the first one that I’ve taken since last fall…haven’t hurt this bad since I can remember…seems to be helping…10:30…feel better

4/7–another bad day—totally drained

4/8–Elbows ache a little but feel better.

4/9–Went to pick up pills from Dr Robb…told him that I was having 3 good days in a row before I would have a bad one and he said that means that it’s still working the way it’s supposed to and that my immune system is kicking in…when I say that I feel like a Mac truck hit me, I mean it feels just like you feel when you have a bad flu…read Bryan Rosner’s E-book and when I read about how the herx reactions come about, it all made sense perfectly…by the way, 3 months ago I used to drink a Coke every day…maybe 2 in summer, but when I read that lyme bacteria love sugar, the only thing that I could drink that I enjoyed (not as much) was lemon sparkling water!!! I had also stopped using refined sugar…either use a little raw or honey if I have to use some. Anyway, that was the first article I read in the e-book…I guess those angels are pointing me in the right direction…I have at least two , you know, because it would be too big of a job for just 1…ordered Bryan’s books…blew some money but I know they will be worth it.

4/10–Four days feeling decent again…much better with more energy today…filled bird feeders…poor things…it snowed 10” last night and they just got back the day before…maybe hearing the birds in the morning will lift up my spirits up even more…

4/11–Spent the whole day typing this story, Don’t ache at all…no more paper to write on…am going to put it all in the shreader…just looking at my writing could tell you how I felt that day…no more mixed up letters for words spelled wrong (most of the time) One thing I really remembered that made me think I was going crazy were things like that…typing M’s instead of W’s…writing witch instead of which…not being able to think of words (much worse than usual!) etc…anyway, I am going to put it in the shredder (shreader???) and maybe, just maybe put all of that pain behind me.

4/12–Still don’t ache!!! I ate THREE whole meals today…first time since I don’t remember!

4/13–My 5th good day in a row!!! (First time) I don’t have ANY pain in my body. I even woke up and was singing like I did YEARS ago!!! Hope the luck holds??? (Positive ions work really well, too when they are sent through the air via positive thoughts!!!).

4/14–A bit of a stiff neck, but I think it’s just because I slept the wrong way…and I slept WONDERFUL!!
Am going to take a hot bath and see what happens…I actually woke up in a good mood…a different state of mind…it maybe makes me feel like I’m actually not a HYPOCHONDRIAC!!! It seems to feel like I shouldn’t think positive, but I just can’t HELP myself from feeling that way…there’s been too many ‘first times’ for me not to…

4/15–Drove up to Grand Marais for job…stayed at my girlfriend’s house and we had a good time…I just feel like a different person and it’s been so long since I have had this many good days in a row…I am much friendlier, and in turn, others are treating me like they used to…

4/16–Drove back home today…I was a little stiff but an Advil did the trick…I can’t believe that is has been NINE days without pain…snow is all gone!!!

4/17–Still doing great!!! I called another gal that has lyme…she is legally blind and has had it for quite a few years…hopefully Dr Robb can help her? It really amazes me how many people that I have met that have it, and up in the ‘boonies’ here, not many people have computers, so none of the knowledge out there is being used as it should…I need to go to some of these township meetings and get the word out to more people…it seems that every time I tell someone about lyme, they know SOMEONE that has lyme or has been bitten and had a rash, but they don’t seem to worry about it…I guess all I can do is spread the word. Hopefully, I will be able to work more this summer and make some money…

4/18–Spring is here!!! I’m sure that getting outside and getting things accomplished will make me feel better about myself…Still no pain…unbelievable…am supposed to get the Zapper back next week so will see what happens there…Wish I had enough money for a coil machine…maybe a few of us can get together and buy one…